crazy for you, baby

My World

It's rare in this life to pause... to reflect on the past, present, and future as well as who you think you are and how that makes you feel.

For the first time in a long time, I've paused and realized how completely happy I am. I'm excited for the days and the future. I've broken away from hiding from myself and the world and, in the process, I've grown to accept myself. It's peace.

It's a scream of freedom kind of moment. It feels great.

flames

the moments when the world seemed far away, and the feeling ineffable. pulling me to my core. to feel so alive. why can't i reach that place now? where did you go? who would i be, if something that changed me and brought me those moments, were gone?

how can you weigh against the unknown? how can you make the bet? to go all in? to lose it all... or gain it? when do i fold? life is too much like poker... despite all the thought, the strategy, the patience... it's all still a gamble.

counting

counting down the weeks, and soon, days, until i finish this hell of a semester. while what i've been learning has been pretty interesting(ignoring mandatory and never ending testing), what i am most happy to inform is that the last three months have consumed my life from every angle.

on the bright side, i'm starting a new position. moving out of the nursing home and into the hospital setting: trauma, general surgery, and plastics. my first preceptor on the job actually had her first cna position at the same nursing home i started at- small world!

finally, i will be living abroad for a month next february. i can't express how excited and anxious i am to be living and working on my nursing practicum in amsterdam!

it's crazy to think that in just over a year, i will be a college graduate. i will be able to take a break from school for the first time in over seventeen years...